just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
