he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
