You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
