Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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