And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
