they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
