we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
