It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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