first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
