That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
