Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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