She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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