Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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