You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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