Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize