I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
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And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
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You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"