I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize