Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
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Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
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I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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