I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
