Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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