i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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