this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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