What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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