FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
