She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
