3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
