You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
