Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
