You work out of a Hotel?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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