Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
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i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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