mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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