Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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