i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
