YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
