honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
