Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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