I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Sober January is a disaster.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
