It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
