u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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