Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
