So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
