Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
