Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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