the condom got lost in my hair
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
