I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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