Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
