I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize