Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
