Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
