It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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