I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
