quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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