Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This house was built for laser tag.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
