The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize