What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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