It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize