i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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