just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
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I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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