My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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